hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
