his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
