We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
