I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
