I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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