Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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