Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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