I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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