Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
