This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize