The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
