Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
