bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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