what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
