i already hear my dad disowning me
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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