WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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