Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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