Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
