You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you didnt know i had herpes?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
