I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
