We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
