i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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