I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
