all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
