i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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