it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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