I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
