I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
