There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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