I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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