mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize