I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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