As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
