Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
