six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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