We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
