Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
