Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
this just has baby written all over it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
