She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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