i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
