is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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