can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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