He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
