how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
