Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Even my vagina gasped.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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