So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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