i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
