Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ugly people sure do ruin things
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
