theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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