He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Even my vagina gasped.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
