its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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