My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
