Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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