in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
