I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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