yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
