We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think my moral compass just broke
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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