I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
this hospital has no fireball
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
