I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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