Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
