I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
