just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
