I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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