Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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